Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in bigredamac's LiveJournal:

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
9:11 am	bring it so apparently its rag on the ex day. there are several key points that i must make here. 1. she was involved with a man over 30 when she was 17 2. i spent 8 grand on her on movies and dinners and jewlery and those little things that u get but u dont know why. i have nothing to show for it and she never apprecitaed it. example: I bought her a 1/2 carat diamond necklace for her birthday (not cheap. believe me) the response i got was "oh. thanks." no happy dance. no..... anything really 3. she thought it was ok to date another guy while we were together. thats a nono. a movie night, a concert and a motorcycle ride lasting till the wee hours is a little more then friends. 4. since weve been apart shes been nuts. insists on calling and texting and facebooking and myspacing me daily. posting on every one of my posts that i make on any site. interrogating my friends about me and what we did. 5. she somehow knew exactly what one of her male coworkers liked in bed and obsessed over everythnig he did until i finally had to tell her to stop talking about him. theres more but ill be mature and stop here now thats not to say im perfect. im not. im an asshole. i unknowingly flirt with people. i do what i do and did what i did. I dont have to hide anything from anyone. personally im getting sick of having to defend myself online. as that person said "arguing online is like running in the special olympics. even if u win youre still a retard" and for all of you who said shes nuts... you told me so (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
12:27 pm	wow. I'm kinda amazed at the shitstorm my last entry provoked. I didnt think anyone read this thing. So anyway, things are still good. Been hanging out with nikki and shaun and a bunch of their friends who's names I cant remember, which is awesome cause theyre both good people and it's nice to have people my own age I can relate to. Life's hard when most people leave and the remaining few completely ignore you. Whatever. I'm not going to make this a rant about how my life sucks. Ive got it pretty well made and I know that so ive been trying to make a conscious effort not to play the "poor me" routine. and as far as aluren and I are concerned.... this are still weird. We're doing the really awkward split up but still friends thing which isnt the way to go. I try not to talk to her every day to grow a little distance between us but that just seems to make things worse. I'm lost. I guess being my first big breakup it would be hard but Ive done everything I can and nothing seems to work. I cant make her see that she lost what she had. her actions were the cause of our breakup. Now I am an asshole, so I cant totally blame her but whatever. ugh. anyway, its back to work. no rest for the weary. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 26th, 2008
12:45 pm	life so far well I just realized that it's been ages since I wrote one of these. Where to start? lauren and I have been "apart" for a little more then a month now... we're trying to do the really aqward "still friends" thing, but just as everyone told me, it doesn't work. She's off to school down in WV so I'm getting a lot of the space I was lacking in the past few years....LOL I could fill books about the current situation there, but I dont think words can explain the way things are. On a plus side, I've got myself an apartment in rockland, which is pretty cool. It's not much but it's home. Anyone gets into town, gimme a ring and we'll do something. Still trying to figure out the whole decorating thing, but for the most part I can call it home. It's nice to have my own place, but it definately gets lonely with everyone off to school and everyone else ignoring me but what can you do? such is life. *sigh* well, i guess i gotta get back to it. maybe more later? Current Mood: blah Current Music: disturbed (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
7:06 am	poop JmjtjtTjmjtjpgkajtwmktmtjtgtjmkgjmda.wmjgtkgjgatj. i feel better. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 10th, 2007
8:57 pm	penis (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 7th, 2006
2:58 pm	Tried to amend my carnivorous habits. Made it nearly seventy days, Losin' weight without speed, eatin' sunflower seeds, Drinkin' lots of carrot juice and soakin' up rays. But at night I'd have these wonderful dreams Some kind of sensuous treat. Not zucchini, fettuccini, or bulgur wheat, But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat. Cheeseburger is paradise. Heaven on earth with an onion slice. Not too particular, not too precise. I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise. I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz Fifty-seven and French fried potatoes. Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer. Well, good God Almighty, which way do I steer For my cheeseburger in paradise. Heard about the old time sailor men, They eat the same thing again and again; Warm beer and bread they say could raise the dead. Well, it reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn. But times have changed for sailors these days. When I'm in port I get what I need; Not just Havanas or banana or daiquiris, But that American creation on which I feed! Cheeseburger is paradise medium rare with mustard'd be nice Not too particular, not too precise I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise. I like mine with lettuce and tomato Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes Big kosher pickle and a cold draught beer Well, good god Almighty which way do I steer For a cheeseburger in paradise Makin' the best of every virtue and vice. Worth every damn bit of sacrifice To get a cheeseburger in paradise; To be a cheeseburger in paradise. I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise. Current Mood: pissed off (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 20th, 2006
2:55 pm	you know, i read robi's comment earlier, and i couldnt agree more; honesty sucks. period. Why is it that when we try to go and help someone, it turns into a huge fiasco? why is it that some people have the ability in a very short period of time to tear at the seams of a perfectly good relationship? GODDAMN IT, WHY AM I SO CONFUSED?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? for those of you not in the know.... i gave my ex a ride home a while ago, because... well, she needed a ride. Simple enough. I'm andrew, so i said, "ok" and went and gave her a ride home. The next day i recieved a note saying that she still "has feelings" for me and she "wanted to kiss me" in the truck. Now, idk about y'all, but that wouldnt be cool, since im pretty sure ive found the woman i want to spend my life with. So anyway, i read the note, tossed it, and tried to forget about it. I see now that i should've told lauren that julia had written that to me and that i had given her a ride home, but i guess i just didnt think that it was that big a deal... Anyway, that afternoon, a comment appeared on my myspace saying "im sorry" about a gazillion times. Naturally lauren asked what it was about, and i tried to explain. I realize now that... idk.. the way i said it made me seem like im cheating on lauren but im not, so idk what the hell to do... So now it's like... whenever i say something not andrew-ish, or i do something that i normally wouldnt, or vice versa, its like lauren thinks that im thinking of julia... which im not.... so basically, im confused as hell right now, pissed, laurens pissed, dads pissed, mom's probably pissed.... i guess i live an angry life... idk... makes me wonder why i even try......... ------------------------------------ why is it that in my extreme stupidity that i see that whenever i try to help someone it blows up into something its not but i still help people, and whenever it seems like im getting my shit back togejer, everything falls apart?!!?!?!?! do u know? Current Mood: frustrated (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
9:18 am	birthday happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee happy birthday to me!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 3rd, 2006
9:27 am	my truck ok, so as you know, andrew is on the road and bombing around. As of yesterday, i got my truck insured, registered and inspected... ridin on easy street. Imagine my mood when i got in at like 10:00 last nite to find out that i have no gauge lites..... well, i figured that i could make it home w/ the dome light on... a mile down the road, i see these lights barrelin down the road behind me with lights flashing... its lauren, and shes saying that i have no taillights. shit. so now im truckless again, and with electrical problems... i think im gonna flip..... GRRR!!!!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
3:59 pm	uhhhhh hmm, so i havnt written in this for... umm way too long... summer sucks lauren's awesome my truck can kick your trucks ass lauren's awesome work sucks rain sucks lauren's the best (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 5th, 2006
3:20 pm	love well, i guess that i ought to start using this thing... just to keep the two people that might read this informed, i have deeply fallen for the most awesomest person in the world (5-24-06 YEAH!!!) and our relationship seems to be going super... for the record, madi, i AM sorry that we never happened, but i guess thats the way it happens. I really am sorry, theres not much more that i can say then that, and i hope that you realize that for once in my life i am 110% serious. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 13th, 2006
2:50 pm	hmmm no ones writing to me... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
4:01 pm	hmmmmm wow, im on this sum bitch now... ya so amyway, if i know u, go ahead and post. Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)